Saint Scholastica Society

Should priests marry?

Every year in early June, a group of angry women converges outside the cathedral in my diocese. Ordination seems to bring out the barely submerged hostility in them, and it grieves me deeply that the last thing my brothers see before taking holy orders is those waving, anti-clerical placards. I've thought about paying for a banner to hold up and block it out, reading, "We are proud of you, dear brothers! We are praying for you!" This, it seems to me, is a better and more constructive message to be sending new priests: "We love you and support you for devoting your lives to us. We are on your side."

Sometimes the protests are a little more subtle -- and yet, in my mind, they are no less disrespectful (however reasonable they might seem on the surface). I'm talking about the push for discontinuing the discipline of priestly celibacy -- sometimes taking great, imaginative pains to draw a connection between sexual misconduct and "forced" continence.

Since celibacy is a matter of discipline rather than doctrine, this is something the Church could change her mind about down the line. However, there are a number of reasons I will always be grateful that these faithful men devote themselves entirely to single-minded service.

As a convert, I've known a number of married pastors and their families, and have rarely encountered a situation where the father's vocation did not present a real strain on the rest of the family, who were forced to assume roles (unofficially but very publicly) that they neither chose nor desired. Their fathers were frequently absent to them, and they were expected to go along without complaint. I once had the great privilege of meeting Ruth Bell Graham (Billy's wife) in her home in Montreat, NC. She deeply impressed me as a woman of faith and spiritual maturity -- and she devoted herself entirely to her family. Even in this situation, the marks on the family are evident.

As "other Christs," priests donate themselves 100%, just as Christ did, and this single-minded service is worthy of the utmost respect. Personally, I think that we would not have the vocations problem that is frequently expressed in Catholic circles if as the laity we did a better job of honoring our priests. Instead we treat them like "one of us" -- instead of as persons with inherent spiritual authority over us, by virtue of their holy orders.

Priests are not simply lay people with collars. Their authority is passed to them by the hands of their bishop, who ultimately received it from Christ himself. Affirming this authority and respect, in my mind, is something that as women we have the opportunity to take a leading role in turning the tide.

I know some will disagree with me on this (perhaps quite vehemently), but I will not allow my daughter to become an altar server. This is not about girls not being "good enough" to do the job -- after all, the Church allows girls to serve on the altar at the pleasure of their bishop. (In my church, there are servers of both genders.) However, I want to teach my daughter that she has an equally important job to do -- but one that is different from her brother. Pope John Paul II (and Edith Stein as well) spoke of the "gender complementarity" of God's design.

Young men look for opportunities to be MEN, and reserving this job for them, in my mind, gives us an opportunity to affirm them in their maturing spiritual development as men. If they have a vocation to the priesthood, that seed has an opportunity to grow without pressure and without conflict -- giving them a glimpse of the ordained life at a level that is appropriate to their development.

If we are truly dedicated to finding a solution to the priest shortage, we need to look first within ourselves. Are we the kind of Church, the kind of people, a young man should aspire to serve?

posted by Heidi Hess Saxton @ 9:44 AM