Saint Scholastica Society

"Should I Cover My Hair? One Woman's Reflection" (II)

I was happy to see many strongly positive reactions to my article that appeared on CatholicExchange.com this weekend. (The article may be found at: http://catholicexchange.com/vm/index.asp?vm_id=2&art_id=29369) Many had similar follow-up questions, and for the sake of "chronological economy" I'll post a few of them here. Happy reading!

1. "What kind of head coverings do you wear?" For me, this is an issue of liberty and preference -- I'm not aware of any right or wrong way to do it. Some ladies want the traditional veil. Others -- especially if they are new to covering, or are self-conscious about it -- prefer something more subtle such as a hat or scarf.

I have a three-year-old, so my scarf stays in place best if I tie it under my chin. However, sometimes I wear a hat (you can find cute ones on e-bay). Sometimes I wear a snood and scarf (the snood gives me something to "anchor" the scarf). I've found beautiful coverings on websites of several faith traditions: http://www.modestworld.com/ or http://headcoverings-by-devorah.com/Headcoverings_Snoods.html (Jewish sites); one Mennonite/Amish site includes a pattern http://www.prayercoverings.com/patterns.shtml. "Catholic" sites include http://www.aquinasandmore.com/index.cfm/FuseAction/store.BrowseCategory and http://www.modestyveils.com/

Some have asked me whether my daughter wears a covering. My understanding is that children start wearing coverings after their first communion -- but if your daughter wants to be "like Mommy," I think the angels will get a kick out of your earnest little pray-er!

2. What does Canon Law say about head coverings? Although some will debate me on the significance of this point, nothing about women covering their heads appears in the most recent (1983) edition of the Code. The 1917 edition states that "Women... shall have a covered head and be modestly dressed, especially when they approach the table of the Lord." (Canon 1262, par 2). Interestingly, paragraph 1 of this canon also indicates that "It is desirable that, consistent with ancient discipline, women be separated from men in church." (To my knowledge, churches have not enforced this practice for a very long time, but it may be part of the reason the early church had deaconnesses -- to manage the "women's area" and to assist the bishop in administering rites such as baptism to women)

Having said that, it is also a fact that head coverings have been part of the ongoing tradition of the Church throughout its history, falling out of favor only recently. Catholics held on to this tradition longer than many other Christian groups -- however, in some circles there are stirrings within these groups to restore the practice. I recently encountered one "yahoo" online group comprised of women from a wide variety of Christian traditions who cover their heads out of respect for God, His Word, and their husbands. For more information, go to http://www.dovesdesign.com/headcovering/

3. When do you wear your covering? Just in church? or in your home? As I understand it, Scripture indicates that women should cover their heads when engaged in public worship -- praying or "prophesying" within the faith community.

Some women, therefore, choose to wear scarves that they can slip over their heads at the last moment. (This option tends to minimize the negative feedback about being "holier than thou" or "proud").

Others choose to put on their scarves as they get ready for church, to get themselves in the proper mindset to receive Eucharist (and minimize the time they spend fussing with their hair).

Still others choose to wear a scarf all the time -- or at least when they go out in public. They see it as an opportunity to witness for Christ to others who ask questions.

No matter which option you choose (after asking God and and consulting with your husband), remember that this is much more about cultivating an inner humility, rather than getting the attention of other people. Consequently, we must be very, very careful not to come across as critical or harsh toward women who choose not to cover. A loving response to an honest question will do far more good than criticism.

4. How should I respond to the snide comments and puzzled looks of other parishioners? When no response is needed, ignore them. Your first priority is to cultivate a heart that is open to God and ready to worship. Or smile gently and say a little prayer under your breath, "Jesus, help me to see You in every face I see today."

Proverbs 15:1 tells us that "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." If someone asks angrily or defensively why you cover, gently say something like, "It helps me to be more aware of God's presence," or "I like to 'dress up for God,'" or "It makes me feel more feminine, and makes me more mindful of how God has blessed me as a woman."

If someone approaches you with a more curious tone, and seems open for more, offer a more "meaty" response. I often start with the story of my friend Kimberly, and talk about how her example made me take another look at 1 Corinthians 11:10 "A woman ought to have a veil on her head, because of the angels." You could also talk about the value of sacramentals, and the connection between the physical and spiritual world -- God relates to people through tangible things. "My head covering makes me more aware of God's presence, and His blessing on me and my family."

Finally, don't worry about getting in the last word. Pray for each person you speak with, and treat that person with courtesy, no matter what. Time after time, love speaks with far more authority and conviction than law. Ultimately, God is far more concerned about our hearts than our outward appearance. In the words of one great hymn writer, Helen Lemmel (1922):

O soul, are you weary and troubled, no light in the darkness you see?
There's light for a look at the Savior, and life more abundant and free!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

posted by Heidi Hess Saxton @ 8:57 AM